Monday, August 26, 2013

A Quiet Life

source & source.
     I'm interrupting my own scheduled blog series for today, my dears. I have something I just really want to talk to you all about. 
     I think I'm having an identity crisis. I'll be 22 in a couple months, I'm starting my senior year of college & I am scared to death. I'm right on that edge of my life where everything seems possible and so frustratingly impossible all at once. I have so many goals and ideas that I can't even focus for one second on just one thing. I have huge dreams, some so insanely complex and mind-numbingly intricate that I'm not even sure understand them and then some so vague, they aren't even really tangible or fully formed yet. 
     I want to illustrate children's books and I want to teach on the side. I want to be a full-time professional organizer or work for (or create) a company like Evernote. I want to create and run my own stationery company & further It's Paper Dear. I want to design plus-size lingerie for poor girls, because clearly no one else wants that job. I want to write books and design patterns for interior spaces. I want to cuddle with Napoleon and drink English teas but then I want to travel and be a collector of adventures. I want to be a full-time blogger and give advice on things, because even if I'm so young, I know things and just want to be taken seriously. 
     And when I say I want all of that, I mean I want it all. I'm a workaholic, not because I want money or something like that, but I just have so many goals that I don't know how to reach, so I just work and work and work. & There's no "until" because I haven't stopped yet. And I don't think I can or will stop until Darling Dear no longer just represents this small, little blip on the map that has a couple little odd ends to it, but my own little empire of endless wonder that I can share with the world. 
     I'm frustrated beyond words because I have all of these ideas but neither the time, nor the funds to devote everything to them. And I'm bringing this all to you today, my sweet readers, because I have no idea what to do with my life and there's no way I can be the only one. There's just no way I'm the only one who doesn't know how to proceed. Should I take it slowly and focus on building one thing at a time, even if it takes years? But then how do you do that? How can you tell a dream and a goal to be quiet and sit quietly on a shelf until the right time? 
     I'm asking for advice and I'm asking what YOU are doing. Because hopefully one of you is better at this whole "grown-up" business then I am, heh. 
 photo ziedarlingsign.jpg

6 comments:

  1. Oof, I know how you feel! I'm 29 and sometimes I still feel this way (apologies if that's not terribly reassuring). The main thing I want to tell you is that you have so. much. time. It's easy to get excited and want it all and want it now.

    I guess my best advice would be to focus on school. Write down every inspiration, every goal, everything. If there's one small thing you can do while in school, try working on that, but don't stretch yourself too thin. So for now, focus on one or two things at a time. Your life could change dramatically in the next few years, and you might have time to tackle more projects in the future. In the meantime, try to just enjoy where you're at, and that you have all of these options waiting for you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm no help as far as a role model or frankly, doing ANYTHING at the moment, as I'm stuck in something I absolutely DO NOT like, but that's the best advice I can give: don't settle. If it's not for you, it's not for you, and it's more important to recognize that and move on. Do what makes you happy; cliche as it is, you'll feel so much better (and sane!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think Courtney gave you some absolutely wonderful advice.
    I also believe that you're driven, creative, and immensely talented. I have no doubt you will accomplish ALL of the things that you want to do.
    I too, caution you not to spread yourself too thin. School is almost over, and you'll only be 23 years old then, and ready to take on the entire world and that list of everything you want to do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. *hugs* my darling. I know how you feel and I'm turning 25 in two months! I was having a similar conversation with my boyfriend yesterday and he told me to write down everything, and start from there. I know, that's not much of help but it'll help you prioritize and plan.

    You have really lovely dreams and I would love nothing but see you accomplish them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, it's hard but it's also easy. Time is going to pass no matter what - don't get so hung up on making a decision that you do none of the above. They all sound like fabulous things and perhaps you don't have to choose one to the exclusion of the others - blogging seems like it would complement many if not all of the others? And some can be your avocations instead of vocations. Doing any one of these things passionately and whole-heartedly will be wonderful (and don't blame me if I secretly vote for designing plus size lingerie for poor girls!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. i know how you feel im turning 22 in 4 months. i have 3 jobs and they all are what i want to do in life,(work with kids) i love everystep of they way. it really all depends on how you take it. and how you feel comfortable with it.
    youll get it :)

    ReplyDelete

Hello there! And thank you for commenting. I read every comment, and they mean the world to me! But if you have a question, please leave an email for me to reach you at, if possible. Or you may find it a bit quicker to reach me directly by email (ziecampbell@gmail.com) or by twitter (@ziedarling).
Have a darling day!
-Zie