Tuesday, February 25, 2014

One Day at a Time

I've rewritten this post about a dozen times now. I originally sat down to write about my work routine, something that's been heavily requested, and something I really wanted to write. But I couldn't write it. This kept coming up instead. 
I'm really struggling right now, darlings. Really struggling. I suffer from depression & PTSD and those are really weighing me down right now. Like to the point where I'm really ready to stay in bed and just sleep or cry and do absolutely nothing else.  
I know a lot of people would frown at me posting something like this on my blog. Blogs are for being cheerful & bubbly & happy. Yes, they're for being "real" and being "transparent" but only if that's extra fine filtered. And normally, this blog is a place that's happy and bubbly and glitter filled. But today it's not. Today things suck and I'm feeling a bit hopeless. 
However, that being said I also know that things aren't going to feel like this forever. I have suffered off & on depression for a long time. This time just happens to be the worst. But it will get better. 
I know it's crap, but that over used "This too shall pass" gets me through this kind of stuff. As does my amazing support group that are my family, friends & all of you lovely people. And my cat, because he gives the best cuddles and brings me bubble wrap to pop, :) 
I don't say all of this because I want anyone to feel sorry for me or anything like that. I say it because I'm going to be taking a break for the rest of the week and hope that helps. I say it because if it doesn't, I'll be closing my shop. And more importantly, I say it because I know there are other people out there who feel the same or similar to what I do and I want you to know you're not alone. I'm with you and we can do this together. One day at a time, with lots of love and hugs and happy music and each other. 
So here's to kicking today in the ass & trying to dust off our bruised bums and hop back on it, yeah? 


  1. I really hope the break helps you Zie. Depression really sucks. Be kind to yourself.

    By the way I really enjoyed your first vlog :-)

    Claire x

  2. I love your positive attitude about this, a positive mind is the first step to healing. Also, sharing things like this can be hard and it takes a lot of courage. Keep on being strong and don't give up. There is nothing wrong with a break here or there, but don't give up. "This too shall pass" is never over used as long as it stays useful! I hope things turn to the happy side sooner rather then later, you deserve to be happy.

    Tatyana 'Avo'

  3. You're brave, talented, beautiful and have the second prettiest kitty i have ever seen ;) Everything keeps moving and will eventually come around! Thanks for this post!

  4. I relate to this so much. My blog is my happy place, my love letter to life so naturally I rarely share my inner struggles and difficult experiences on it. I have struggled with depression, panic attacks and anxiety my whole life. I'm just now coming out of the most severe depression I've ever had and I'm working really hard to get back on my feet after having my whole life turned upside down a few months ago. One thing that I do know for sure is that it will get better, my dear! Then later on it will get bad again but that's life. It's always going to be up and down. I know exactly how it feels to fight really hard but feeling like you just want to give up. Let's not give up though! Let's kick arse together!! I really hope that the blogging break will help you get back on track.
    Lots of love xx

  5. I love you. I hope today is the start of conquering the battle.

  6. I completely agree with Chiaki, I've also suffered/suffer from depression, excessive panic attacks and anxiety for many many years. Sometimes I'll go a year without many issues other years feel terrible but knowing that there will be a bright side and that the things I do and eat (sometimes by force) will eventually help me get out of my funk.

    Never worry about posting content like this because it resonates with someone out there. We use our blogs as a way of free expression and if we can not express ourselves then what is the point?

    I hope the break does you well and you remember to do things or go and experience things you know you normally would love even if you have to take an hour to drag yourself out of bed in the morning getting into motions may help.

    wishing you all the best,
    Chrissy of Crashbeauty.com

  7. Take a breather and enjoy the time away. Stay strong!! A postitive mind will get you through it. ♥

  8. You are never alone, don't ever forget that! Have a good break and see you when we see you! xo

  9. I hope the break helps you get to a better place. I've had to be telling myself "This too shall pass" quite a bit recently and being able to forget about it for a little bit and come back when I'm calmer and have a little more perspective always helps. I know that I (and I'm guessing a lot of other readers) don't comment that frequently, but I always read your posts and hope the best for you xx

  10. I am so sorry. I know you have a post since this, but I know this sort of thing doesn't just go away overnight. Like Chrissy above, I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and I have found that what I eat and don't eat affect me hugely in surprising ways. I found relief first through following a diet lifestyle put forth in the cookbook Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. Then I moved to a more carefully tailored but related diet called the GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) Diet and I am consistently well. These diets are not diets of denial, but of deliciously nourishing foods.

    I fear that I am being somehow inappropriate in passing on dietary advice, but even some nutritional babysteps that you pick up might give you the strength you need to keep on moving and overcome this thing.

    God bless you. You are in my prayers.

    If you have any questions, feel free to email me at anthemsweet@gmail.com

  11. <3 you girl! I'm here if you wanna chat. I struggle with anxiety and it is a horrible thing. Take time for yourself, it will help lots.



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Have a darling day!